


The Fifty-fourth Sentinel Tidbits File by Many and Varied

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Series: The Senad Sentinel Tidbits Files by Many and Varied [54]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: M/M, Senslash Fun, other pairing - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 03:52:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist





	The Fifty-fourth Sentinel Tidbits File by Many and Varied

## The Fifty-fourth Sentinel Tidbits File

by Many and Varied

Author's disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, these tidbits aren't mine. Honestly, I'm not responsible for any of it!  


Rating: the whole range  
Pairings: J/B (mostly!) 

* * *

Tidbit #1 

ObSenad: 

"Tex?" 

"EEK!" I jumped, spilling my beer all over the keyboard. "Jim, Blair, damn, guys, can't you make some noise? You should travel with a mariachi band." I wiped malted hops off my 'puter and turned to face my favorite subjects. 

"We just wanted to drop by and see what the response was like to your rant post," Blair said, idly rubbing Jim's shoulders. 

I watched his long fingers knead Jim's muscles. "Hmm?" I asked dreamily. "Oh, that. Yeah. The list was pretty supportive. Some had had experiences like mine, but some lucky few had really great friends and family." I followed the slow, hypnotic movement, feeling my salivary glands overflow. 

Jim shook his head. "I still can't believe your mother thinks we're perverts or something. I mean, she'd probably really disapprove of this." He bent down and traced Blair's jaw with his tongue. 

"She'd hate it," I croaked through a dry throat. 

"And she'd _definitely_ frown at this." Blair ran his hands down Jim's chest, squeezing taut flesh. 

"Probably tar and feather you," I whispered, forgetting to breathe. 

"Oh, and she'd _abhor_ this," Jim cupped Blair's ass and pulled him close for a deep kiss. 

"She'd drop dead in horror," I rasped, licking my lips. "But you know what would really be the ultimate revenge?" I paused to my chin. "If she knew her little girl was joining in." I lunged at Sentinel and Guide, perversion on my mind. 

They jumped back and grinned. "Ah-ah," Blair teased. "You know the rules: no Mary Sues!" 

Damn my writing preferences, anyway! "Just this once?" I begged. "I've been so good to you!" 

"You have," Jim agreed, "but rules are rules, right, Tex?" He made sure I saw every inch of Blair's long curls sift through his fingers in slo-mo. 

I scowled. "You guys are going to find yourselves in a CHiPs '99 crossover _real_ quick with rotten attitudes like that!" 

They just laughed. "You wouldn't do that!" Blair said. "You love us too much. Besides," he nuzzled Jim's hand, "that would mean you'd have to picture Erik Estrada naked." 

Good point. Maybe when he was younger, but now...ewww. 

Blair/Ponch slash was _definitely_ out. 

"Why don't you go write something nice and hot, with us on the beach," Jim suggested. "We're going to go do what perverts do best." 

They disappeared, leaving me to my computer. "Well, I guess it's just you and me," I told it. I mused. "What to do?" My eyes lit with an unholy flame as something occurred to me: 

SEND TO:sxf@list1.channel1.com  
SUBJECT: TS and Cheesy '70's Shows Crossovers 

I giggled maniacally. Maybe _I_ couldn't write it, but there's always braver souls than myself! 

D'END 

Tex  


* * *

Tidbit #2 

ObSenad: 

"God! Sometimes, people can really suck!" Blair hissed. 

"Problem, chief?" Jim asked, concerned at the tone of his mate's voice. 

"I just was reading some of my list-sibs' posts." 

"From the cop show we both like?" 

"Yeah. Man, it never seems to end. Apparently, someone's mom slammed her and took pot shots at almost everybody else who likes the show." 

"Why? Too violent?" 

"No! Would you believe it, because the guys on the show aren't 'real men'?" 

"And how exactly did she come to that conclusion?" 

"Well, because their relationship seems to be ... suspect." 

"What, you mean ..." 

"Right. If the cop and his buddy were locking horns instead of possibly locking lips, they'd be more 'suitable' for the viewing public to watch." 

"So ..." 

"In typical 'right-thinking' fashion, it would be better to blow one another up, rather than just blowing one another ..." 

"Oh, babe ... don't let it make you crazy. Wars are won one battle at a time. You can't change people's minds overnight." 

"You're right, big guy." 

Kiss. 

Kiss. 

Kiss/lick/kiss. 

"Uh, Jim, you keep that up, and I won't be able to finish writing this e-mail." 

"Sandburg, if I keep this up," grabbing his lover's hand and cupping it over an enormous erection," do I get a special reward?" 

The aroused anthropologist gasped," Yeah! You get to hide it wherever you want!" 

-finis- 

Deana  


* * *

Tidbit #3 

ObSenad: 

"Hey, Sandburg, have you heard about this book?" Jim held a paperback book up. 

Blair peered at it, and nodded. "Gay Vampire, right?" 

"Yeah, I was wondering if it was any good," Jim mused, looking through it. 

"Gay Vampires? You'd read about gay vampires?" Blair said incredulously. 

"Sure," Jim said, still turning the pages. "It's not often a gay man can find decent gay gothics." 

Blair squeaked and dropped his issue of Civilization on the floor, mouth hanging open. 

Jim looked up, amused. "Now I remember why I called you a guppy." 

"Gay?" Blair squeaked. 

Jim nodded and grinned. "Know the term, Sandburg?" 

"Yeah," Blair grinned back. "Let me show you when we get home how well I know it." 

Jim stood there, mouth hanging open. 

"Now who's a guppy, Jim?" Blair said, smirking. 

-end- 

Bast 

* * *

Tidbit #4 

ObSenad: 

"Simon?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Do you think anyone on our Watchman list would know how to get one of those Highlander Blooper tapes? You know, the one that was offered on TV when you ordered the series tapes a while back?" 

Simon looked at his smaller lover and smiled. "I'm not sure, Tiger, but you could always ask." 

"Yeah, but then I have to do a fic for asking something OT." 

"OT?" the bigger man asked, walking behind the smaller, lighter man. 

"Yeah, off topic...um...Si, you're making it really hard to think here..." 

"Poor Rafe...and all I wanted to do was make it really hard..." 

;-) 

Shanny  


* * *

Tidbit #5 

ObSenad: 

"Simon!!" 

"WHAT!!" the big man said as he shot straight up from the bed. 

Rafe came running into the bedroom and jumped on said bed, bouncing all the while. "They're gonna help!" 

Simon blinked blearily at his lover. Just (he covertly checked the clock) three short hours ago they'd been involved in orgasmic bliss, then shortly after that Simon had fallen asleep. Now, here was Rafe, bed head and all, _bouncing_ on the bed like a five year old. 

"Who's gonna help, and what are they gonna help with?" he asked, eyeing the sinewy body that was giving him motion sickness. 

"The Watchman list!! I'm gonna get the blooper tapes..." 

The last part was said in a sing song voice, cementing Simon's decision to shut Rafe up. Lunging, he grabbed his lover in his strong arms and smothered his lips with kisses. Cute lovey kisses, quick, chaste kisses, broad tongue licking kisses, and finally, a romantic, loving kiss that curled Rafe's toes. 

"What was that about tapes, Tiger?" 

"Who the fuck cares?! Just kiss me again, Bear." 

"Bear?? Rafe, we have _got_ to discuss these nicknames." 

Rafe laughed through their kisses and made a mental note to thank the list... 

<Thanks, everyone!>

Shanny  


* * *

Tidbit #6 

ObSenad: The Werewolf of Cascade! Think: black and white! 

<sequel to ObSenad in tidbits file #51, bit 3>

He was so tired when he came home. The elevator was out of order again. He had to drag himself up the stairs with his bad ankle. It was still swollen from the bite of that ugly dog. And his butt hurt from the shot he had got against rabies. He limped into his room and slumped on his bed. 

He woke with a start. It was hot. His body was burning with heat and his skin itched. The moonlight lit his room in a ghostly way. He scratched and scratched his body all over. Squirming on his bed he heard Jim snoring upstairs and smelled him clearly. Oh god, I got the Chinese flu, he thought. 

Panting he tried to stand up but he couldn't. His limps didn't obey. He looked down on himself and suddenly realized that he was changing. Pain shot through him so unbearable that he fainted. When he came out of this agony. He wasn't a human anymore. He was a wolf. 

Blair lay on his bed and stared down at his body. New body. Shit! With weak legs he stood up and went up to Jim's room. For a long time he just stood in front of Jim's bed and thought what he was going to do. He hoped desperately Jim liked wolves and would not shoot at him at the first sight. 

Better to wake him nicely, he thought, in a non-offensive way. So he hopped up on the bed and snuggled close and began to lick Jim' s ear gently. Mmmm, he always wanted to do that! 

Jim grunted, smiled and opened his eyes. 

Blair was proud, Jim didn't loose it. He stayed calm and made nice sounds. Blair couldn't resist and let him scratch him behind the ears. 

The only damn thing now was how to make Jim understand that it was him. But for now he could play hide and seek with the big guy, and cuddle shamelessly. Hey, that's what dogs, um, wolves are supposed to do. 

<g>

Angelika  


* * *

Tidbit #7 

Re: Write a story written from a nosy neighbor's p.o.v. on what they might hear coming through a vent from a certain loft at 852 Prospect. 

* * *

(Second floor apartment) Hariett Jones 

=Ohhh! Yes, Jim! Right there!= 

Mrs. Jones pursed her lips and looked up from her knitting. "Hmph!" she commented, patting her blue-gray beehive. "Two grown men, living together, not a woman in sight. Doing heaven only knows what to each other, and so near the vents, too! Why, a body can't even hear herself think some nights." 

=Blair! Oh, Blair! Baby, you're so good, keep doing it!= 

Mrs. Jones adjusted her granny glasses with a harumph. "It simply wasn't tolerated in my day," she muttered. "We had names for two men who were too close, yes indeed!" 

The cries and moans that wafted through the vents grew softer, giving way to gasps and giggles. Mrs. Jones frowned at the vent. "Well!" She clambered to her feet and stood under the vent, waiting. 

Soft groans and mumbles, too soft to hear. 

Mrs. Jones scowled and dragged her chair under the vent. "You'd think they'd have some respect for the elderly," she huffed, stepping up on the chair with effort. "Old bones aren't meant to be jumping up on chairs, you know." 

The sounds were a little louder now, but she couldn't make out voices. Grumbling, she cocked her head toward the vent and turned up her hearing aid as far as it would go. 

=Rub some right there, Jim. Lower! Use your tongue. Yeeeeaaaahhhhh!= 

Mrs. Jones clucked her tongue. "Lord knows what they're doing up there. Toys, body paints, leather. Hmph!" She raised up on tiptoes to catch the final act. 

=Jim!=  
=Blair!=  
 **=YES!=**  
 **=OH, CHIEF!=**

Silence, except for satisfied coos. 

Mrs. Jones stepped off of the chair and sat back down to her knitting. 

"Disgusting!" she pronounced. 

* * *

(First floor apartment) Ralph and Howard 

=Ohhh, yes, Jim! Right there!= 

Ralph's head came up from his newspaper and he grinned. "Hey, Howard, get out here!" he called happily. "The show's starting!" 

"Coming, coming," his roommate grumbled. "Don't move as fast as I used to, you know." The old man handed a bowl of popcorn to his elderly friend and lowered himself to the chair. 

"You don't move as fast as _anyone_ used to, you old fart, now shut up and listen!" 

Ralph and Howard leaned toward the vent eagerly. 

=Blair! Oh, Blair! Baby, you're so good! Keep doing it!= 

Howard shook his head affectionately. "That Ellison. Some piece of work. Reminds me of you: big, tough, and a total pushover for the right person." 

=Rub some there, Jim! Lower! Use your tongue! Oh, yeeeeaahhh!= 

Ralph snickered. "Sandburg. Now, _he_ reminds me of _you_ : little and cute, but with a motor mouth and nerves of steel." 

=Jim!=  
=Blair!=  
 **=YES!=**  
 **=OH, CHIEF!=**

The old men laughed and slapped each other on the back. "Nice to know some things never change," Ralph snorted. "Well, bless 'em, I hope it stays good for them." 

Howard glanced up at the bigger man. "Did you ever think we'd last 54 years?" 

Ralph smiled down at his smaller partner. "Hell, I didn't even think we'd last 54 seconds. I couldn't believe I was saddled with a snot-nosed buck private in the middle of one of the biggest battles of WWII. I thought I'd have to baby-sit you. Guess you proved me wrong when you carried me on your back through three miles of enemy fire." 

Howard made a face. "I did make a crappy soldier, though. Sociologists and foxholes don't mix." 

"Speaking of mixing," Ralph waggled his eyebrows. "Meet me in the bedroom for a quickie?" 

Howard considered. "Better make it right here. By the time we get to the bedroom, we'll have forgotten what it was we went there for!" 

:-) 

Tex  


* * *

Tidbit #8 

ObSenad: 

"Uh, Jim, a little to the left." 

"Like that?" 

"Ow! No, too far. Easy now, not so fast!" 

"Complain, complain! You want to do this by yourself?" 

"Yeah, right!... Push a little harder now!" 

"Is that good?" 

"Ummm, yeah. Almost there, man!" 

"Watch your back, Chief... wouldn't want you to sprain anything." 

<<grunt, grunt>>

"Oh yes. Right there! Perfect!" 

<<sigh>>

"That where you wanted it?" 

"Sure is. Thanks for helping me carry that in. I'd have gotten a hernia trying to do it by myself." 

"No problem, Chief. You needed a bookshelf." 

"How can I thank you?" 

"I'm sure I'll think of something..." <<evil grin>>

(end) 

Angie  


* * *

Tidbit #9 

ObSenad 

Jim sighed, glancing away from the clock which had only ticked forward two minutes since the last time he'd look up. Blair's car was in the shop, again, and Blair had had a million things to do this afternoon, and somehow Jim had ended up stranded at the police station, waiting for his roommate and his truck to come fetch him. Since the options available were to do paperwork that would be even less relevant than usual or to look busy, Jim flipped open his email again. There were still no new messages. 

Grumbling under his breath, he opened his web browser and scrolled half-heartedly through his bookmarks list. Blair occasionally left odd links behind when he used Jim's computer... but the one down at the bottom of the list caught Jim's eye the way the usual obscure academic references never did. 'Hello classy person, Welcome to Blair #5', it said. 

"Number five?" Jim grumbled, opening it with a small smile. "I'm still on my first... Damn, don't I wish I were _on_ him." His smirk deepened as he skimmed through the 'zine. "Well, what do you know," he muttered. "Maybe I should trade mine in for this new model." He paused, and thought about the fact that _Blair_ (his Blair) had book-marked this page. "On second thought, maybe mine has some unexpected mileage left..." 

End. 

* * *

This was too good to not share... while looking through the QRD for something else entirely, this caught my eye: 

<http://www.blairmag.com> \-- Blair, the magazine for modern fags 

cmshaw  


* * *

Tidbit #10 

Re: Isn't it something of an insult to portray Blair with some of women's most stereotyped (and annoying) mannerisms? 

To which Blair responded: 

"I quit. This is the last story I'm doing," Blair snorted back his tears, then hocked a big one, in a pointedly male fashion. 

"What's up, Chief?" asked Jim, delicately sponging up the loogy with corner of his apron. 

"I'm sick and tired of the way fanfic writer's have been trashing my image. I've been a three-old, a vampire, a slave, a hooker, a cancer victim, a mental patient, an inmate, a ferret and just last week someone turned me into a woman! Not to mention the stories that have you and me boinking like bunnies, on the kitchen table no less! Where do they come up with this stuff?" 

"They invent it. I think that's why they call it fiction, Chief." 

"Well, I think it's insulting. What's wrong with me being just a regular guy for a change?" 

"Define regular, Chief. Besides, if someone wants to write you as an psychotic hermaphroditic clone who likes to do it with ducks, what do you care? Just be glad it's only fanfic, not a script." 

"I guess your right, Jim. I can always delete." 

"Right, Chief. Now, about the ducks..." 

\--the end-- 

Shy  
(with apologies to ducks everywhere)  


* * *

Tidbit #11 

ObSenad: Blair The Weepy Femme: A Parody 1/1 

Jim Ellison woke to the sound of soft sobbing coming from downstairs. He sighed and rolled out of bed. _This is the third time this week,_ he thought irritably, trudging down the stairs. 

Blair Sandburg, mate and Guide, sat weeping just loudly enough to make sure Jim heard. He looked up, waaay up, as Jim sat down next to him. "Oh," he breathed, looking away with a strategic sniffle, "I didn't mean to disturb you." 

Jim patted his delicate shoulder. "What's wrong Blair?" 

Blair gave a quiet, forlorn sigh. "Nothing," he whispered, dabbing at his eyes with the corner of his lace hanky. 

"No, really, Chief," Jim said supportively, stroking the long, silky curls. "Tell me." 

Blair pursed his lips and choked back another sob. "If you loved me, you'd _know_ what was wrong." He pulled his head away and buried his face in his hands, peeking out to see Jim's reaction. 

"Blair-" 

Blair wailed loudly. "Jim, don't yell at me!" 

The Sentinel frowned, confused. "I wasn't yelling, I-" 

"Now you're abusing meeee!" Blair screamed. "I'm going home to mother!" 

"Chief, your mother is currently in West Bearfuck, Siberia helping victims of the vodka famine," Jim pointed out reasonably. 

Blair whimpered. "You hate my mother!" He wrapped his arms around his waist. "And you think I'm bloated, don't you? Yes, you do! Okay, maybe I've gained a few pounds here and there, but that's no reason to say such horrible things!" 

"Wha-? Huh?" Jim was lost, floundering for something to say that might calm his hysterical anthropologist. "I love you, Blair," he said finally. 

Blair batted his huge, luminous baby blue eyes at his mate. "You do?" he simpered. 

"I do." 

"Oh!" Blair raised his hand to his forehead and swayed. "Oh, Jim, I think I'm going to faint! Catch me!" 

Jim thought of pointing out that Blair was already sitting, but decided that might provoke another attack, so he scooped Blair's almost-weightless body into his arms and carried him upstairs. He gently laid his Guide on the bed. 

Blair blushed delicately. "Oh, my," he whispered, hand to his chest. "You- you're so _big_! Be gentle with me." 

"Always, my little Guppy," Jim smiled. 

Blair's pretty face trembled. "Little Guppy?" he quavered. "You think I'm a short fish?" He threw himself onto his stomach and dissolved into tears. "You get away from me, James Ellison!" 

Jim sighed and headed for the couch downstairs. 

The End 

Tex  


* * *

Tidbit #12 

ObSenad: Aural Sex at 852 Prospect 2/2 R J/B 

This is a sequel to the snippet I posted for the "what do Jim and Blair's neighbors hear through the vent" challenge. 

Dedicated to Saraid, who came up with this idea! 

* * *

Jim and Blair arrived late to the tenant's meeting, each lugging a bottle of soda and some chips. The meetings were less official than social, so everyone contributed to the potluck, music was played, and sometimes impromptu games. 

"I wonder if Ralph will get drunk and sing 'Moon River' again," Blair wondered. 

"As long as he doesn't _show_ us his moon again, I'm happy," Jim replied, stepping off the elevator at the proper floor. He cocked his head. "Sounds like they're already into the sauce. Hear that?" 

Blair frowned. "I can hear laughing, but not what's being said." 

Jim dialed up his hearing. 

"What about last week when Jim rented The Graduate?" 

Snickers. 

Another voice. "Yeah, I didn't know what they were doing until Blair gasped, 'Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?' " 

Giggles.. 

"Speaking of role playing, wouldn't you think Blair would be the good cop and Jim would be the bad cop? But no, they like to break the stereotypes." 

"And what the hell is a Chopek Dance of Love, anyway?" 

"I don't know, but it involves banana pudding and cool whip." 

Howls. 

Lacking Sentinel ears, Blair heard none of this. He did, however, watch Jim's face turn pink...red...purple. "Jim?" he asked nervously. "Hey, man, are you okay?" He started to review the CPR techniques he'd learned in high school. 

Jim turned to face him. "They know," he said, mortified. "They can hear us." 

Blair frowned. "Huh?" He started to review the passive restraint techniques he'd learned at the funny farm. 

"They hear us...doing it," Jim said reluctantly. "They even described the Chopek Dance of Love." 

Blair sat down hard on the step and covered his face with his hands. 

Jim crouched down and put an arm around his shaking shoulders. "Blair, I'm sorry. I-" 

Blair threw his head back and spewed laughter. "Oh, my God!" he snorted, eyes squirting tears. "That's priceless!" 

Jim scowled. "Sandburg, what the _hell_ is so funny?" 

"All this time," Blair giggled, "we thought we were being so quiet, so discreet, and now-" he dissolved. "I wonder-" he rocked back and forth, holding his sides "-I wonder if they heard it when we played Chuck Norris and Jackie Chan!" 

Jim shook his head. "That's not funny. That's not funny at all!" he got up and paced. "I can't go in there now, knowing they heard all that!" 

Blair wiped his eyes. "So, what do you want to do, Jim? Move? Hide out in the loft until they're all asleep?" He picked up his chips and soda and headed for the door. "We'll go in there, heads held high, and pretend we didn't hear anything." He planted his hand in the middle of Jim's back and pushed. 

Howard opened the door at Blair's knock. "Hi, Blair," he said casually. "Jim. Come in." 

* * *

"See, that wasn't so bad," Blair said. "No one laughed. I mean, once we got there," he amended. 

Jim turned on his side to face his mate. "I guess not," he admitted, "but the thought of it..." He grinned suddenly. "But if you'd like to take my mind off it, I could force myself." 

Blair smirked and reached for Jim, then stopped. "Hold that thought." He jumped out of bed. 

"Chief, what-?" 

Blair leaned over the heating vent. "Sorry. This show is private!" he yelled, and closed the vent. "Now," he purred, crawling up to his Sentinel, "what'll it be tonight?" 

\--the end-- 

Tex  


* * *

Tidbit #13 

ObSenad: 

"Man, not another one!" 

"Another what, Chief?" 

"It just seems like everyone on the Watchman list is getting really touchy. What started out as a discussion on writing styles has just degenerated. Someone took something personally, then someone else took what they said personally, and before you know it, it seems like everyone has hurt feelings and is upset. And that's not the only thread it's happening on." 

"Well, they haven't slammed you, have they?" 

"No, but that's just it... from what I have read, no one is _really_ slamming anyone else. It's just a matter of people taking general comments _way_ too personally. You'd think that a group of adults could have a discussion or two without it becoming childish bickering." 

"Are you saying you've never been offended by a post?" 

"No, I'm not saying that at all. What I am saying is that we should respect each other's opinions with out getting defensive about them. If a post makes you angry or upset, maybe you should, you know, step back and wait a while before replying to it. Cool off, instead of flaming." 

"Sounds reasonable." 

"You know, with this many diverse personalities, we aren't going to agree on everything, Maybe if we all agree to disagree, we can learn from each other instead of spending so much energy arguing." 

"umm hmm"  <<nuzzle>>

"Are you even listening?" 

"umm hmm" <<nip, lick>>

"mmmmm.... are you trying to distract me?" 

"hmmmm... maybe...." <<kiss, nuzzle>>

"I think it's working... " 

(end) 

Angie  


* * *

Tidbit #14 

ObSenad: 

"Look at this, Jim. I think I'm going to watch "The View" next Monday to see what else Gillian Anderson has to say. You know it's amazing what you can learn on the Internet!" 

"Oh yeah, Chief?" 

"Yeah. I was on a site about Scotland and you know what? There's a castle named after me! No, for real - Blair Castle! Would you like to live there?" 

"Blair I DO live in Blair Castle! And you know something?" 

"Umm.... What Jim?" 

"I'm happier than any other King in any other castle in the history of the world." 

"Ah. Me too." 

-end- 

Janet  


* * *

End Sentinel Tidbits File #54.

 


End file.
